There and Back Again

The Devil,
With a white collar and fire in his mouth.
I was orphaned
In the care of angels with invisible wings.
All was right with my world. All
Gone.
That was Deutscheland, this is New York.
I breathe fire when I leave.
I leave a lot.
I know God now, we have much in common..We’re
Gone.
Gone.
My soul is the brightest light trapped
In blackest-bluish night
No one loves me here
They’ll miss me when I’m
Gone.
New York, tastes like broken stained glass and dying dreams
A friend died here. One breath in.
Gone.
Vancouver, release of the dying dream in my mouth strangles cool air.
Vapor trails left for evidence, no one here to see me
Gone.
My professor: “I’ll help you find peace.”
His promise was peace-meal, as I’d waged constant war within me.
Breathing fire when I leave,
Tasting brimstone when I’ve
Gone.
Mom’s house, or Dad’s house – she was both to me.
No one’s here to see me
Fire in my eyes running laps down my face
Into my mouth…sizzling, then from my eyes again. This was never
Home.
My professor taught me: mother is God in the eyes of children.
Demons whispered vignettes down narrow corridors
In her womb/church.
I was orphaned by angels into a life of war for peace
My friend died here.
I’m not ready. I’ll come back when I am. No one will know I’m
Gone (Bamf!)